Secrets of a Market Researcher

For those of you who don't know, I have a very glamorous job. I work at a calling center, fabulous right? Well my job is too call people all over the country while they are eating dinner, putting the kids to bed, watching March Madness, or just running out the door. It isn't my fault I caught people at a bad time, the random computerized dialers calls them, not me. And my job, is to get them to spare precious moments out of their day, and take a lame drawn out survey, on health insurance, or energy efficiency.

Sometimes people give me the lamest excuses, like I am watching March Madness, call back when it is over. Well little do they know, I type a few things into the computer, and they will be receiving a phone call on March 28th, just after the final game of March Madness has ended.

So here is some little secrets from me, a telephone interviewer, to you the annoyed person on the other end of the phone being asked to take a fifteen minute survey.

1. Be nice, really what good does it do to swear and cuss at me? I will be nice if you are nice to me, and if you are rude.. I will call you back in two minutes just to annoy you.

2. If you joke with me on the phone, I will laugh at even the lamest of all jokes, because let's be honest... it is rare to come across a happy person on the phone.

3. When I ask you your age, don't freak out. It's not like I am going to call all you neighbors and tell them you are really 9 years older than you claim.

4. If I ask you your zip code, give it to me, it's not that big of a deal.. I could type your phone number into google to find out. But since I don't have that time, spare me.

5. If I tell you the survey is only 10 minutes, chances are it is about 5 minutes longer than what I actually say.

6. Yes, I have to read every question.. If you ask me one more time I am going to blow!

7. If you agree to take the survey, be polite. It isn't fun going through a fifteen minute survey with someone who has a stick up their..... (fill in the blanks) ---I was thinking nose ;)

8. If you don't want me to call you back again, don't just hang up, don't yell, don't say I am not interested.. tell me PLEASE put me on your do not call list, then and only then I will never call you again!

Those are my secrets, please if someone calls you for a survey... TAKE IT! You will make the interviewers day! :)